Giro d’Italia, The BITP Guide - Part One, Clothing

Do they even have unemployment benefit in Italy? Anyway, the cycling blogger-sphere, (they largely ignore me) have been contemplating who is going to win the 2013 Giro d’Italia since, well, since a Canadian won it last year. CyclingNews.com cobbled something together, then Omega Pharma Quickstep decided to buy Alessandro Petacchi. (Dear Brian Holm, please make sure Patrick Lefevre packs his medication.) In time honoured tradition, BITP presents the Alternative Guide to the Giro d’Italia. Part one covers the Competition Jerseys. Given to the leader of each classification. 

Ok- there’s four. Designed by Paul Smith this year so I’m told. Very nice. 

1. Pink Jersey. For the rider with the biggest penis or in Italian “Maglia grande pene”. The Leader’s Jersey. You’ve gotta have a big set of balls to win this race, what with seven Mountain Top Finishes this year. 

2. Red Jersey. For the rider with the most potential to cause a crash. One for the Sprinter. It blends in with the road rash I hear, and also other things riders are known for getting up to in cheap hotels. Forever known as the “Maglia tappet ustioni”.

3. Blue Jersey. A change for the Mountain Climber’s jersey this year, it did used to be green, but now it’s blue. Something to do with sponsorship I think. What is it sponsored by? Anti-Freeze? That’s what Team Astana will need for when Twiggo casts his evil eye upon their lead rider. Now to be named the “Maglia antigelo”. 

There’s always hundreds of other prizes and competitions at the Giro. Does anyone know them all? No, I personally think they make them up as they go along. You’ll see. Maglia Rosa, that’s just the boring name for it. Besides, another reason why Twiggo can’t push Nibali off a mountain. Pink won’t go with his shocking orange hair, will it?

Now On To The Contenders….